...that a new (at the time), particularly bad@$$ friend of mine gave me a bracelet with beads that spelled out BAMF. And it took me a minute -- which really means way more than a minute -- to acclimate. Because I don't think of myself that way.
I am an overthinker.
I am super-sensitive and way more insecure than most people imagine.
I happen to know that a lot of what I've accomplished has been motivated by fear.
Fear of failure.
Fear of embarrassment.
Fear of not fitting in.
Fear that nobody else will take care of me if I don't take care of myself.
Ultimately, probably, fear of not being loved.
But I started wearing that bracelet. And I started to notice that I keep walking forward into that fear. And achieving. And, dare I say, making a difference in the world and in people's lives.
And, big for me in 2015, I think I began to believe that I deserved to give myself the title. And that it was ok to think of myself that way. Despite the fear and insecurity that may have driven the actions. Despite what others might think of me if I think of myself that way.
But I saved it.
Because it felt good to read it.
And yes, it might be overconfident.
And it might be perceived as self-aggrandizement.
And I still don't much like the associations I have with the word boss.
But in my body, when I read it, I feel connection to something bigger.
I feel ease.
I feel strength.
I feel capable.
I feel GOOD.
And in 2016, I want to do and say and believe more things that feel good. Things that make me feel capable of doing all the great things I want to do. For myself and for others.
So I'm putting it out there.
I'm about to Slay 2016.
I think you are too. Shall we make it so?
Feeling into the truth you want to live.
*My mantra: "You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously."